Gottman makes reference to five main “harmful behaviors” and therefore lead to partners feeling fragmented, isolated and you may distant off each other. When couples enjoys a high volume of those toxic behavior, separation and you will lonliness increases. These types of “cascades of separation and you may lonliness” escalates the liklihood out of relationship meltdown and you can lead strongly to your liklihood from divorce or separation.
In fact, precisely how a discussion begins like the method for the and that grievances is actually conveyed is actually hugely important in choosing ways where in actuality the discussion will go.
Contempt: This may involve various habits of face expressions – running an individual’s sight, sighing during the resignation, body language which forces your lover out – in order to a keen “I would never sink so reduced concerning make a move by doing this – what kind of person are you presently?” Contempt often features a fundamental build from despising, disliking and devaluing one’s mate.
Stonewalling : Shutting down, withdrawing of high emotional arousal and work so you’re able to care about-ease which have opinion instance “I’m shocked that she is claiming this!”